Domestic Violence!!!

 

Domestic Violence Awareness…

In silence I will not stay. There is no month in specific to make Awareness of Domestic Violence, as this issue is affecting individuals each day. So many woman and men including is living in silent abuse. May this abuse be physical or strongly mental. We need to come together to educate others or someone personally going through the fight to “Speak Up”. Don’t stand alone. “Get Out”. There is no fight if your not standing there.

I can remember a time when I was hurting so badly. I was staying in this battered relationship for the sake of my child. My son was a newborn and flying was not an option. I had no family in the current state of which I was residing. I had no one and no where to turn. My mind had a plan, but my actions had nothing. I was staying around for this man own personal strength and pleasure.

Don’t get me wrong I do understand it takes time to get on your feet if you’re starting from scratch as  a mother or independent woman. “I equally struggled”. I worked dead in jobs. I missed out on the first few months of my newborn son life. I was determined to no longer be someone punching bag. Despite your age. “I was 19”.

One of my stories…

I can remember this story as if it was yesterday. I still feel the pain daily in my head despite it being fifteen years ago. I needed to get out, so I went to check the mail. My boyfriend (I was unaware) watched me as I walked to the mailbox from the window. I walked the regular path of the mailbox headed there. The air was clear and fresh. It felt good to be outside. My hidden “Postpartum Depression” was sinking deeply that day. The sudden feeling of being disconnected from your baby internally had sunk in. I needed to get out. I just needed to be alone. I took the path while he watched. I checked the mail, while he watched. I headed back towards the house and I took a different path. To me it was shorter path, just not in his visual eye. The moment I walked in the door. He grabbed my arm with such firmness, as to leave bruises with each touch. I was being yelled at and spat at. His words came with several squirts of saliva.

What was to come next was only the worse moment of my life. I was standing there with someone yelling at me. “Where were you? Who was you fucking? Who is he?” I was constantly reassuring that I was doing nothing, that I simply took a short cut. I started to belittle my worth. “Who would want? I’m fat? I just had a baby” I wanted to assure him that I knew I was worth nothing so he could feel like something and comfortable.

It didn’t matter…

I found myself yelling out for help and constantly saying stop. He ignored me. So I began to cry in the inside. “Show no pain” is what I thought would work. This man was grabbing my pubic hairs and pulling them through my panties. I was in excruciating pain. I could do nothing to make him stop.

Tears ran down my face, but I stayed strong and silent until he stopped.

Today, I’m 15 years free of Domestic Violence.

Don’t let someone define you. You’re not alone in this. Step up, stand up and GET OUT…

Shante Lovely’